I’m like an ignorant child. One who holds onto something that’s dead.God knocked down a rotted, cracked building. One that was familiar and comforting to me. A building I would pass every day. It was an eyesore, but it was almost a part of me because of its familiarity in my life.
When God knocked the building down, he took a step back and watched as I frantically tried to take the broken pieces of rubble and stack them back on top of each other. I made a fortress of solitude out of the broken pieces, barely upholding itself, I made a bed under this broken, unsafe shelter. Where I stayed and wept, trying to patch up what was already destroyed
He watched. Patiently. Day in and day out waiting for me to come out from under the rubble mess I attempted to remake. You see, He cannot rebuild while I lay in the mess of his destroyed creation
He cannot make me a safe home until I allow him to. He cannot clean up the broken, sad mess while I wallow in what was. I cannot move on, He cannot work. We are at a standstill. Because of my ignorance.
God, may I peak outside of my fortress. May I see you patiently waiting with your blueprints in hand. May I leave my broken shelter before it collapses on top of me. May I have faith in the new home you patiently await to build for me.
- Amber Rayes